I do not title this as a point in my life to where I feel lost. Even as a child I felt lost. At times I thought I did not really belong anywhere because, I felt that if an individual did not feel the way I wanted them to feel then it was a loss because, they did not feel what I felt.
I realized that in my thirties I had my very own rabbit and he was more than a trick. Everything was going great I had my Television shows going however, something felt off and it was him all along. Sometimes I wonder is he also the reason why things happen in my life. I got really sick after the mid night rondevu’s I thought it was from shaving my face I just got to face it, this is not from shaving and no I was not trying to commit suicide because, he broke up with me for some married woman up the street. I saw her driving his car one morning or she was a look a like.
I did not care because, I kept on getting sick I have been sick since April 07,2016 my natural glow is gone I have bumps on one side of my face and I gain 10 pounds while I was with him. Then he showed me a gun I guess his friend purchased it well, I need to tell the truth just in case he said his brother purchased it and I stared to think when two people love each other what do they talk about? I then realized I am in love with my arch enemy. Showing me weapons that I do not know if he is going to use it on me I was just not feeling whatever was going through his psychotic mind.
I felt lost, lost without words.
I felt afraid, why? I do not know I guess because, of my past you know how people was trying to kill me. It was probably him too.
Now, I am back at square one always inside the house, trusting in know one. I joined a P.h.D. program to keep myself extra busy I am wondering what should I do if he comes back. You can never put nothing pass a gang member.
Maybe I should buy a gun too. Maybe I should throw some hot bleach on him. Maybe I should call the police. Maybe he reads my blogs and if you do please stay away from me the friendship from 16 years ago is gone I do not ever want to see you again I don’t want nothing to do with you EVER.